Updated: Sep 23
The thruth is The more choices we have, the more difficult choosing can be. While some people thrive on variety of choice, it's clear that for many, more options can result more stress and the reluctance to not want to settle down. The problem is we now have more choice than ever, with millennials concentrating in urban areas at a higher rate than any other generation, and marrying at a significantly lower rate and at later ages than previous generations, there are more singles left in the sea.
Our ability to make a good decision is reduced by the overload of choices, as is our satisfaction with the final decision. A new study has shown people prefer fewer options to more — but only to a certain extent. Overall, people think they like to have more choice, but it causes more stress to make the ultimate decision. Too few and we feel cheated; too many and we're overwhelmed, this is where the problem comes in with modern dating, the variety of choices makes it harder to settle down because humans would rather give up trying altogether than choose one option.
That worry that comes when faced with many options is from a real place. Scientifically increased choice not only leads to anxiety, but to "choice overload," whereby "people become cognitively overwhelmed as choice sets of potential partners grow larger.
That feeling of too many choices can be diagnosed, almost perfectly, by psychology's famous "paradox of choice." There's a scientific reason that modern dating can feel so tiring. We have so many choices that we can't feel satisfied about our choices or choose at all, with so many possible choices, we think we might not make the right choice at all, and this prevents people from settling down with one partner, because there are so many potential other right matches. By that logic, modern dating is a never-ending conveyor belt of jam jars, with a seemingly unlimited variety and a bottomless supply. This leads some daters to abstain from actively dating. For more of us, it casts over dating a level of indifference, one that ultimately yields less action because even when we choose, we're always looking out for better options.
The same is with online dating, ‘at what point do you stop swiping?’ There’s a wider selection of people to choose from which often causes choice overload, which will then stop people from choosing and dating altogether. There is also a wide range of dating sites and apps to choose from, which puts a lot more pressure on individuals to make a choice. Most people who participate in online dating worry that the love of their life, may just be on a different dating app or site. Most dating consultants will agree that having more than 3 dating apps are too many.
Dating and settling down is a slow process which means you must devote time to everyone that you date, having many options makes this difficult because your time is being shared with more than one person. The main reason why people aren’t settling down today has to do with the issue of multiple choices and how the human brain doesn’t benefit from the variety of choice. The truth is marriage is not for everyone and you can not force yourself to be in a relationship just to fit the status quo, so take your time until you meet someone who you are able to tolerate that which doesn't meet up to your standard but its tolerable and doesn't affect you because the reality isle are all not perfect.