What’s Your Love Language? How Understanding Each Other Can Transform Relationships

At this point in life I’m sure we can all agree that love is complex, but how we express it doesn’t have to be. In the latest episode of Coffee Morning Laughter, Shilz and Djenys explore a topic we can all relate to, whether we’re single, dating, or married: Love Languages.

Inspired by Gary Chapman’s 1992 framework, the five love languages ---- Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch are how we give and receive love. If you tuned into the episode you would have been reminded that, love languages aren’t just about romance but they shape how we show up in all forms of relationships that are linked to us, the way we care for ourselves.

It’s Not About Grand Gestures—It’s About Being Understood

Throughout the episode, Shilz and Djenys share stories filled with laughter and insight. Djenys admits her love language has changed over the years, from valuing acts of service to now embracing physical touch, which, of course, Shilz doesn’t let slide without a bit of teasing.

Whilst there is laughter, the heart of the conversation goes deeper. The ladies explore what might happen when your love language isn’t understood or respected in a relationship to simply put it, it hurts and could start the end of the relationship without you knowing it . It’s like speaking an entirely different language from your partner which can become frustrating, confusing, and sometimes isolating.

Shilz puts it simply: if she doesn’t feel considered in a relationship, she’ll leave. It’s not about being dramatic; it’s about self-respect. “If I love you and I’ve taken time to reflect on what’s important to you , then I expect you to also reflect on what matters to me too”. It’s a reminder to all of us that love is reciprocal, not sacrificial.

More Than Romance: Love Languages in Friendships

What I really enjoyed about this episode was that it went beyond couple dynamics. This was well explained when Shilz’s spoke about how she once had a standing tradition with a friend to meet up every last Friday of the month—until she got into a relationship and those meetups turned into “I’ll call you tomorrows.” Now I can’t be too tough on Shilz as we have all been there, well I know I have !

Whether it’s checking in with a friend, giving a thoughtful gift, or simply being present, love languages show up in how we maintain all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.

Why Knowing Your Love Language (and Theirs) Matters

The power of understanding love languages lies in intention. You might be showing love the way you want to receive it, while your partner or friend is waiting for love to be expressed in a completely different way.

When we slow down, ask the right questions, and pay attention, we learn that doing something your partner enjoys, even if it’s not your default, can be the most generous act of service. It’s not about pretending; it’s about caring enough to learn.

Ways to Show Love More Intentionally

• Ask, don’t assume: Have a real conversation about how your partner or friend prefers to receive love.

• Speak their language: If their love language is quality time, schedule uninterrupted time together.

• Share yours: Let people know what makes you feel most valued—it’s not selfish; it’s communication.

• Notice changes: Just like Djenys, love languages can evolve. Check in with yourself and others.

• Practice love daily: You don’t need a big occasion to show you care, small moments add up.

So, what’s your love language? Have you ever felt disconnected from someone simply because you were speaking different emotional languages?

Tune in to this week’s CML episode for another honest, funny, and insightful chat. Then tell us: How do you love, and how do you like to be loved?

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